Yesterday my best friend told me that he (yes he) was engaged. I was very happy for him. I mean who wouldn't be excited that their best friend is getting married? ME! When I said I was happy, that was before I found out who he was marrying. His fiance' is someone that I have known for years and never really cared for. I'm almost certain that she will make him happy; in fact, she's been more of a best friend to him than I have ever been. So I KNOW that she will make him happy and that he is really happy about his future with her. In all actuality I am really happy for him and excited that he is getting married.
She has never done anything to me for me not to like her. I think that my dislike of her stems from jealousy. Jealous that her relationship with my best friend is a lot stronger than mine. Jealous that he used to tell me everything and now he tells me nothing. Jealous that he gets off the phone with me to speak with her. Jealous that I used to be the one that he called with all of his good news and I had to call him in order to find out that he was engaged. Jealous that she took my place and my best friend! I know it sounds really middle schoolish! But that jealousy reared it's ugly head yesterday and I think I may have lost my best friend forever. I said some really hurtful things, but I didn't mean them. I was just being my old spoiled self and I had to have the last word and I regret it all. He invited me to his wedding (despite the fact that he wasn't invited to mine) and he even wanted me to be in the wedding. And I went off and told him that I didn't agree and that I hoped he had an awful marriage....OUCH!!! Yeah, I said that. When I went over the conversation in my head, I couldn't believe all of the terrible things I'd said. Needless to say, now he's not answering my calls and texts and I felt terrible. What have I done?
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