Remembering 9/11

Remembering 9/11

I can't believe it's been 10 years already.  The memory is still fresh in my mind . . . 

I was fast asleep (decided that I wasn't going to class that day).  I was awakened when my cell phone rang.  I answered the phone and it was my best friend yelling hysterically.  "Turn on the TV," she yelled, "a plane just flew into the twin towers."  I tried to get my bearings; not totally comprehending what she was saying.  I turned on the TV just in time to see a plane fly into the twin towers.  "Oh My God!" she exclaimed.  I still wasn't fully aware of what I was seeing.  It looked like a movie, it seemed so surreal.  I flipped through several channels, only to see the same events on each one.  My friend then went on to explain that what I just witnessed was the second plane to fly into the towers.  Tears began to stream down my face as my emotions changed from confusion to sadness to FEAR.  Fear of what was to come.  Fear that the nation as a whole was under attack.  Fear of the unknown.  It wasn't long before we received news of the third plane that crashed in a field in Pennsylvania and one into the Pentagon.

I remember that night.  All planes had been grounded indefinitely.  As we ate dinner at Baywalk in St. Petersburg, FL.  There was an eerie silence.  Life as we know it would forever be changed.  No more thinking that we were above the hatred or that things that happened in other countries could not happen to us.  We had been attacked!  We were now at war!

Today, the country remembers all of people that lost their lives during the awful turn of events that day. . .the innocent men and women who, like everyday, simply went to work that day, not knowing that it would be their last and the everday heroes who sacrificied their lives in an attempt to save the lives of others.  Today America is a country united with a common goal, remembering the fallen.  May their memory never die and may the deaths of all of the soldiers who defend our freedom not be in vain!  God Bless America!

My Best Friend's Wedding

Yesterday my best friend told me that he (yes he) was engaged.  I was very happy for him.  I mean who wouldn't be excited that their best friend is getting married?  ME!  When I said I was happy, that was before I found out who he was marrying.  His fiance' is someone that I have known for years and never really cared for.  I'm almost certain that she will make him happy; in fact, she's been more of a best friend to him than I have ever been.  So I KNOW that she will make him happy and that he is really happy about his future with her.  In all actuality I am really happy for him and excited that he is getting married. 

She has never done anything to me for me not to like her.  I think that my dislike of her stems from jealousy.  Jealous that her relationship with my best friend is a lot stronger than mine.  Jealous that he used to tell me everything and now he tells me nothing.  Jealous that he gets off the phone with me to speak with her.  Jealous that I used to be the one that he called with all of his good news and I had to call him in order to find out that he was engaged.  Jealous that she took my place and my best friend!  I know it sounds really middle schoolish!  But that jealousy reared it's ugly head yesterday and I think I may have lost my best friend forever.  I said some really hurtful things, but I didn't mean them.  I was just being my old spoiled self and I had to have the last word and I regret it all.  He invited me to his wedding (despite the fact that he wasn't invited to mine) and he even wanted me to be in the wedding.  And I went off and told him that I didn't agree and that I hoped he had an awful marriage....OUCH!!!  Yeah, I said that. When I went over the conversation in my head, I couldn't believe all of the terrible things I'd said.  Needless to say, now he's not answering my calls and texts and I felt terrible.  What have I done?

I Really Hate Romance Movies

You know I just finished watching the movie "Letters to Juliet." - HATED IT!! No, really I loved it because it had one of those warm, sappy, happy endings and it just pisses me off!  Why do they make movies like this?  This is not real and all it does is make little girls think that when they grow up their lives are going to be one big happy, romantic story.  Where are the kinds of men in real life?  Hell, where are these kinds of women in real life?  I was one of those little girls who grew up watching movies like "Gone With the Wind" and reading Shakespeare; thinking that my Prince Charming was out there waiting for me and that life would be one big fairy tale.  Boy was I wrong and what did it get me?  A lot of disappointment and bitterness! 

Don't get me wrong.  I am happily married and I love my husband with all of my heart, but the road that got me to this point was full of bumps and potholes!  Which taught me to be the cynic that I am today!  So, if anyone out there reading this is one of those sappy authors....STOP IT!!!  No more love stories, no more setting girls up to be disappointed by the realities of the world, and no more lies! 

Urrrgghh!

Why is it so hard to walk away?  I was supposed to be at my school with my resignation letter in hand at 8:00 this morning.  I just finished writing it and I feel awful!  Yes, the waterfalls have started!  Why can't I just be like a normal person and let go?  Urrggghhh!!!

Decisions! Decisions!

Well, it's been a long time and a lot has happened since my last post.  For one, I am now a lawyer! Yeah, one would think that was a great thing; however, it's been far from that.  There is no money coming in and now I am at my deadline and totally confused about what to do.  On the one hand, I've taught for the past 6 years and I thoroughly enjoy what I do.  Plus the job comes with a set salary and great benefits.  On the other hand, being a lawyer has been what I wanted to do since I was old enough to talk (but the dream involved making enough money to live a comfortable life).  This summer has taught me that not all clients are paying clients; matter of fact, 90% of them don't pay.  Hence my dilemma! 

I cannot afford to hope that I get paid enough to pay the bills for the month.  I cannot afford to hope that a client shows up with a check in hand (which I have found does not mean that it's good).  I cannot afford to be without financial stability.  But I also cannot afford to not trust God!  So now the question is one of faith.  Do I take a leap of faith and know that God will not fail me?  My answer is yes, but like all things in my life . . . it's easier said than done. 

So tomorrow I take my letter of resignation to my principal.  Am I scared?  Shitless!!  I have put this off for as long as I can though.  Change is something that does not come easy to me (does it come easy to anyone?).  Tomorrow I become an adult (at age 33)!  Tomorrow I take the biggest leap that I've taken my whole life (aside from marriage).  A leap that has no certainties, no guarantees, and no promises! 

To be continued . . .

100 (Very) Random Facts About Me (Part 3)

And more...

1. My favorite Jay Z song is "Song Cry."  Favorite verse in that song - "They say you can't turn a bad girl good, but once a good girl's gone bad, she's gone forever."
2. I married my high school sweetheart.
3. I am a huge football fan! Favorite college team is Tennessee Volunteers (don't judge me!) and favorite NFL team is the Indianapolis Colts. 
4. My favorite book is "Gone With the Wind."  Surprisingly, I fell in love with that book when I was in middle school. 
5. I love to read!  My favorite author is James Patterson.  I am totally into the mystery/thriller genre. 

Amazing Sight!

I was browsing the internet and came across this video! Absolutely breathtaking!!! God is AWESOME! Check out this great MSN video: Amazing view of Northern Lights

Tornado Drill

So, today was filled with bad weather and chaos!  The school's schedule was thrown off and we were under a tornado warning for most of the day.  While I was stuck with my students, I found that they had some very interesting things to say to one another.  Take a look . . .

1. Do you have a bag? No. Well where am I going to put my tooth?  Ooh, it has a piece of meat stuck in it. That's why your breathe smells like mildew.
2. Oh my gosh, we're all going to die!
3. Can lightning go through buildings? 
4. You need lotion on your shirt.  How can your shirt be ashy?
5. You know a smart way to get from building to building when it is lightning?  No, how?  You just wrap a bunch of tires around yourself and waddle to where you need to go.  Lightning can't strike rubber...duh!

16 and Pregnant

So, one of my students showed me a text message from his girlfriend today.  The text message stated that she wanted to have his baby . . .yep she wants to be pregnant.  How old is this girl?  Just 14 years old!!  He of course told her that it wasn't happening, then she proceeded to tell him that if he loved her he would give her a baby.  WTH?!   

I remember that my best friend was pregnant at our high school graduation.  It was a total embarrassment and she hid it for as long as she could.  Even though we were graduating, people still talked about her and made comments about her promiscuity.  She realized that her life was going to totally change before it really got started. 

Television has totally glamorized teen pregnancy.  With a show like "16 and Pregnant," teenagers no longer have a negative opinion of teen pregnancy.  America is really failing our youth.  I know that critics feel the show makes teenagers see that it is hard to be a teen mom, but the show is having an opposite effect.  It is causing teenage girls to want to become pregnant.  "If I become pregnant, then I may have a chance to be on TV!"  A Memphis, TN  high school reported earlier this year that 26 percent of the girls enrolled at that school have gotten pregnant this year.  With the lack of involved parents, the television is raising a lot of kids.  Television shows have a lot of sexual connotations and it is the parents' job to make sure that students are not prematurely exposed to sex and ensure that they know the true consequences of becoming sexually active at a young age.

It's time for the parents to step up and raise their children!!!

100 (Very) Random Facts About Me (Part 2)

And it continues . . .

Love of Music - those who know
me understand this pic

1. My favorite bible verse is Phillipians 4:13.
2. As a child, I always thought that I would die before I turned 18.  I don't know where this came from, but it was something that haunted me until my 19th birthday. 
3. I LOVE MUSIC!!!  Music speaks to my soul; it encourages me when I'm down; it soothes me when I'm stressed; it always knows the right thing to say.
4. I never carry cash (and I only carry one "maxed out" credit card) because I have a serious spending problem.  Shop-aholic is not even a good name for me - I will buy something just to buy it.  For some reason I find joy in spending money.
5. I want a child more than anything in this world!  I don't understand how people that don't want children are always the ones that wind up pregnant, and the ones who long to have a child have the most difficulty conceiving. 

100 (Very) Random Facts About Me (Part 1)

Everyone on Twitter has been posting about this topic, so I decided I would sporadically do the same.  Since you (the reader) are somewhere in cyber world, it may be a little easier for me to be more forthcoming about myself.  Don't worry, I am not going to just list 100 facts all at once (I honestly don't think I could do that), I am going to break them up into separate posts.

1. I love frogs!  Not so much the real ones, but the cute cartoon ones (like on The Princess and the Frog movie).
2. I have more regrets than I can count on my fingers.
3. During my childhood, I hated the Thanksgiving holiday season because it seemed like someone always died around the holidays. 
4. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up (mind you I'm 33 years old).
5. I'm not in total agreement with the following quote - "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."  I think that this is a bunch of crap.  Although being in love is euphoric; losing the one you love hurts like hell and it's the type of pain that never goes away!  Who would want to subject themselves to that kind of hurt?

Thoughts of a Friend

Friends come and go, but best friends leave footprints.  Those unforgettable moments you spent - the seconds. . .minutes. . .hours. . .days with your best friend are priceless.  When you lose a best friend your life is never the same. Absent from your life, but not from your thoughts or memories.

Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a  sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.

 If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.  (and I'm always right!!)

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.  (hopefully it's you)

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.  (watch the training the next time you're at Sea World)

Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.  (this is why I feel a little dumber when the argument is over - although I knew what I was talking about when it began)

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.  (SO TRUE!!!)

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "Doctor".  (Why would you tell my husband?  Tell someone that's going to be able to save my life and cut out the middle man.)

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.  (I also blame it on the rain, the alcohol, and whatever else I can think of at the time.)

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (Hmmmmm...)

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!  (at least most of the time)

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. (I take life this way as often as possible)

You're never too old to learn something stupid.  (just ask a 6th grader)

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. (only you know what you were aiming for)

The Social Network

So, I just finished watching the movie "The Social Network."  Yeah, I know that I am way behind (blame NetFlix - it takes them forever to release new movies).  Anyways, I was amazed by the intelligence of the co-founder, Mark Zuckerberg.  It's funny that people with such a high level of intelligence are such jerks (and that's putting it nicely)!  Yes, he ended up with great wealth and created probably the greatest social network of our time, but at what cost?  He lost his friends and the love of his life.  Is money and fame worth it?  Everyone has heard the old adage, "money cannot buy happiness," but I'm here to tell you that it sure as hell can make life a little less stressful.  This is of course coming from someone that is far from being a millionaire, and very close to living check to check. 

Would I have sold out my friend the way he sold out Eduardo Saverin?  Heck no!  Would I have taken the idea from the twins and ran with it?  Maybe!  It begs the question, what unethical actions will one take to be rich? 

Sense of Entitlement

Why do kids today have a sense of entitlement?  Most of them think that it is all about them and the world should revolve around their wants and desires.  They think that they are owed something when they don't have a job, let alone a pot to piss in (as my dad would say).  A couple of hours ago I received news that a child, whom I mentor, is being sent to live with his father because of the disrespect that he has recently shown his mom.  I'm not sure how I should feel about this.  I am angry that he is leaving and I don't agree with her decision; however, I don't condone his disrespectful behavior either.  He's turned 14 and now he thinks that since a couple of little, nappy-headed girls are checking him out, he's the shiznit!  This is not just his issue though; this is a problem that about 80% of today's teens have. I keep trying to remember...was I like this?  I know that I had a smart mouth, but were my parents ever contemplating kicking me out?  SMH!!

In Honor of the First Day of Spring

"Spring-time in Florida is not a matter of peeping violets or bursting buds merely. It is a riot of color in nature—glistening green leaves, pink, blue, purple, yellow blossoms that fairly stagger the visitor from the north. The miles of hyacinths lie like an undulating carpet on the surface of the river and divide reluctantly when the slow-moving alligators push their way log-like across. the nights are white nights for the moon shines with dazzling splendor, or in the absence of that goddess, the soft darkness creeps down laden with innumerable scents. The heavy fragrance of magnolias mingled with the delicate sweetness of jasmine and wild roses."

-- Zora Neale Hurston



This is a Test!

No, really it is a test.  All my life I've wanted to write a book and so now I am sort of trying out this blog thing as a test drive. I have no idea what I am going to write about, but I suppose it will be like writing poetry...I will just let my fingers slide across the keyboard and my mind run free.  I would love to write something monumental and life-changing right now, but I am mentally exhausted from spending so much time trying to make the blog look appealing.  Stand by, there's more to come...